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<title>Though My Feet Return, it is I who Have Changed by SassyPantsJaxon</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27462157">Though My Feet Return, it is I who Have Changed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyPantsJaxon/pseuds/SassyPantsJaxon'>SassyPantsJaxon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hetalia Axis Powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Grieving, Human Names Used, M/M, Memory Loss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:48:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>987</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27462157</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyPantsJaxon/pseuds/SassyPantsJaxon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Italy accepted long ago that his first love was gone. But now...something's changed and nobody's quite sure how to proceed...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Austria/Hungary (Hetalia), England/France (Hetalia), Germany/Japan (Hetalia), Holy Roman Empire/North Italy (Hetalia)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Though My Feet Return, it is I who Have Changed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I ain’t ever coming home</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>though my feet return, it is I who have changed</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>joy and sorrow, they’re on the same damn page</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but I, I ain’t ever coming home</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They never quite figured out what started it. It had just been a normal dinner. Feliciano had invited himself over, nothing new, and was asking too many questions about wedding preparations. Gilbert was giving him a hard time about giving his brother a hard time. Kiku was trying to keep the peace, and Ludwig was just putting up with them all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feli had asked another stupid question, Ludwig had given him an overly serious answer that made Kiku start laughing for some reason, and then Ludwig just...stopped. The plate he had been holding crashed to the floor, and he just stood there with a blank look on his face. They all knew something was wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Immediately, Gilbert was calling their boss, trying to figure out if something had gone wrong with the country. Feliciano called an ambulance, because whether this was a human or national ailment, it wasn’t supposed to be happening. And Kiku, poor desperate Kiku, never left Ludwig’s side. He just guided him to a chair, holding his hand and talking to him until the paramedics took him away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliciano remembered looking at the kitchen, the food left on the table and the broken glass on the floor and thinking that neither Kiku or Ludwig would normally leave a mess like this. Then Gilbert asked if he was riding to the hospital with him and he left it all behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-----------------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hospital waiting room was too quiet. When they first arrived, Gilbert had paced around the room, looking like a caged animal, until he was called away. Feli wasn’t sure whether it was a doctor or some government official Gilbert went to speak to, but he was gone and it was just Feli and Kiku sitting together. Waiting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku was staring at the opposite wall, nervously twisting his engagement ring around his finger, almost pulling it off and then pushing it back down before twisting it around again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliciano gently reached out to take his best friend’s hand, squeezing it in his own, “He’ll be okay,” he promised, “He always is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Kiku whispered back, not looking away from some distant point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really,” Feliciano tried again. “He...Maybe we could step out? Go find some coffee or something?” He stood up, hoping Kiku would follow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m fine, you go ahead.” Kiku said absently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiku,” Feliciano stepped in front of him, forcing Kiku to look at him, “Sitting here like this won’t help anyone or anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” Kiku finally met his eyes, “But I want to be here when he comes back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliciano sighed, sitting back down. “Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want me to distract you? Or should I just shut up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku managed to smile a little, “I think I’d like to be distracted for now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Feliciano pursed his lips, trying to think of something other than what was happening to his best friend. “Hmmmm... Did you know... That Toni and Lovi adopted a cat recently?” It was a terrible distraction, but it was the first thing that popped into his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku turned to give him that same small smile, “Why don’t you tell me about it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And so Feliciano talked and talked for what felt like hours about everything he thought of except the elephant in the room. He talked until he felt Kiku stiffen beside him before quickly standing up as somebody else entered the room. Feliciano turned to face the doorway, finding Gilbert standing there, looking a little shaky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s awake.” he announced before either of them could say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku made a soft, almost pained noise, but didn’t speak. “Can we see him?” Feliciano asked on his behalf.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and no,” Gilbert came into the room, letting the door shut behind him and wrapped an arm around each of them. For once Kiku didn’t shrug away from the affection. “There’s something you need to know first. You know Holy Rome?” They both nodded. “Right. He died. A long time ago, and then Germany came along.” Feliciano nodded again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Except it wasn’t quite that simple,” Gilbert continued, “He was gone, but his body was still alive. Just there. It was weird. It was just this empty, living body. And then one day he woke up. Except it wasn’t really him anymore. He didn’t remember anything, and so we gave him a new name and a new identity, and he became the Ludwig we all know and love. Right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gilbert,” Kiku started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should really let me finish,” Gilbert interrupted. “Holy Rome, Louis. He was gone. We accepted that.” he looked down at Feliciano, as if looking for confirmation. Feli nodded. “We thought he was never coming back.” Feli nodded again, almost afraid of where Gilbert was going. “I don’t know what happened to Ludwig today, but...Shit…” Gilbert trailed off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kiku didn’t say anything and Feli waited for him to continue. “Gil?” he finally prompted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Louis who woke up in there. I don’t know why or how, but it’s him. He uh,” he looked at Feliciano again, “He’s asking about you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Louis?” Feliciano repeated, “My Louis? My Louis who died centuries ago?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that about sums it up,” Gilbert sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And he wants to see me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Gilbert nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then I have to go see him…” Feliciano didn’t really wait for a response before rushing from the room, eager to see his lost love again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, um...Louis still thinks Feli’s a girl,” Gilbert said to no one in particular, “So that will be an interesting conversation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A choked sobbing sound drew Gilbert’s attention back to Kiku. “Ludwig?” he asked fearfully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Gilbert sighed, pulling Kiku into a hug, “I’m so sorry, but I really don’t know.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The idea for this fic was taken from an old kink meme prompt where Holy Rome takes his body back from Germany. The prompt can be found here: https://hetalia-kink.dreamwidth.org/81683.html?thread=500154899#cmt500154899</p><p>The title comes from a To Kill a King/Keston Cobblers Club song which can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUcy2fX7tq0</p></blockquote></div></div>
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